Happy Wednesday! Today I am sharing a little bit more about me, and little bit less about a new piece of clothing. I began this adventure not to just share clothing and decor items, but to share thoughts and inspire. I have not been doing well on that front. So, one of my *many* long-term goals is to start sharing more thought-driven posts. I may only be doing them for myself, because let’s get real, I need the help. But if I can help you too, then I’ve hit that goal of mine.
It has been on my mind lately and I just read a post by a fellow blogger about friendship. I have come to a certain point in my life where I have tried to be the best friend I can be (for a long time now), and that just is not being reciprocated. It is obviously very hard for me to just give up on friendships, as I don’t have all that many to lose. However, in my mind, are these actually friendships if all I’m ever doing is giving and not actually receiving? This question brings up many interesting points.
First, if I stop “giving” in these relationships, will the recipient(s) even notice? This may be my anxiety coming out, but the fear is real that the person or people won’t even notice that I’m no longer present. That’s a pretty horrible thought in and of itself. After reading a few other opinions on this though, I am of the feeling that I need to just stop. It is unhealthy to continually hang on to something that is just taking from me. (harder done than said).
Second, in this world of social media, where is the love? I mean I’m all for social media, like it’s my job (well 2 of my 3 jobs) to be on it. It gives you all the info you want (and much you don’t). But, using FB as an example, it kindly reminds you of birthdays, daily. I get it, we are all busy and that reminder is cool. But if you’re actually friends, wouldn’t you take a minute to text or even *gasp* call, rather than post a great big “happy birthday” which gets lost in hundreds of others from random people that person met at college orientation that they’ve never talked to? (seriously, remember when you had to be in college to have FB…yeah that was a thing). Anyway, I feel like this is a no-brainer, but shockingly I don’t always get that text or call, and it really is hurtful and eye-opening.
Finally, how important is this friendship? Is it something I will even miss if it’s gone? That’s the real question, isn’t it? If the decision to cut-ties is the best, will the friendship die, or will the person actually reach out and try a little harder? Maybe, a change in the dynamics is all this needs. Maybe, it will bolster the relationship and it will turn out better. That’s what I like to think anyway. I’m always about positivity on the outside, (while on the inside my brain is slinging around the “why didn’t they do this”, “what if I…” “why did I say THAT?”…etc.).
Needless to say, I have high hopes. I hope that my friendship will continue. Currently, I am not in a situation where I am making friends left and right, however I have made a few new connections lately, and I’m thoroughly enjoying those. I know I have events coming in my life (i.e. children in the future, new jobs, etc.) which will present many opportunities for new friendships. Like most normal people, I still would like to keep the friendships I have though.
So, here’s to chancing it and making a mental health decision for me. There aren’t many times I make decisions based solely on my needs, but this is one of those times. I encourage you to do that same. Evaluate and assess your situations and make the best decision for YOU. Let me know if you have encountered this issue before and what you did about it (or want to do). I love to get advice almost as much as I love to give it! 🙂